by Michele Forsberg PT, MS ~
When I was a kid, I had this amazing group of girlfriends on my street. We would spend every waking hour together during the summer.
We had this tree, in my aunt’s backyard, it had 4 segments to it and was easy to climb. We’d often hang out in our tree, each on our perch discussing life as we knew it including sex education.
I was their informant, the one who taught them about the birds and the bees; I had gleaned this information from hanging with older cousins. So once the news settled we shared our fears, our curiosities, our angst about pending transformation and what it all meant to us.
Imagining our futures and what it would be like to become women, we worried about how we were going to navigate that time when it arrived, but looked forward to it as a right of passage. I don’t know what I would have done without my girlfriends back then. The memories recently came pouring back to me as my 11 year old daughter had expressed a curiosity and angst around matters of puberty that I had at her age.
As I look to my more recent past, I see how events like having a new baby though wonderful and life-affirming, can also feel isolating and lonely. Our bodies go through such dramatic changes, while emotionally we try to orchestrate caring for this new creature, deciding what should be left to instinct or what should be taken from the textbooks.
It’s not so easy for women to get the nurturing they need at this point because care-giving becomes first and foremost. Certainly there are women that seek out counsel from their women’s groups or moms groups, but in my own experience and from what I gather from my patients’ histories, women often tend to put aside their emotions and physical ailments at this point and focus solely on the newborn.
This is what my experience was, I focused completely on my daughter, even as she grew into a toddler and pre-schooler. Her needs came first. I didn’t get the help I needed physically, all my clothes shopping was for her. Worst of all, I had moved cross country and lost my girl tribe. It got harder to stay in touch with the time change and our lives got busy. I identified myself as a mom, I became a mom, but somewhere inside was the lost “wild feminine” side, the side of me that liked to dance, move, flirt, wear sexy clothes, have cosmos, and hang with my girlfriends.
Lately, my friends and I have started monthly girls’ night gatherings and it’s such a spirited and healing time. I feel like I am back in my tree, still having those conversations, laughing, dancing, and feeling more alive than I have in a long time. We get each other, we need each other.
As a physical therapist who specializes in pelvic work I work with women of all ages and histories I realize how many of my patients struggle with a real disconnect from their pelvic region, they aren’t able to feel joy, to sense where their pelvis is positioned and whether or not they have restricted movement. Often times they would rather just forget about the whole thing rather than have to dig deep and be reminded of a time they were more connected or realize that they never were.
Postpartum issues are only one example of ways that we lose touch with our feminine energy; outside influences, jobs pressures, relationships, histories of abuse, grief, and major life changes can lead us down the path of the forgotten pelvis. Women often think that painful sex, bladder leakage, lack of libido are all just part of getting older or part of the post-childbearing aftermath. These symptoms of pelvis disconnect ought not to be ignored, our pelvises house so much energy and can be a source of joy. We just need a little knowledge, movement, and a change of perspective. Even if you feel you never had a libido or a connection to your pelvis, isn’t it time you explored that a little more?
One of the things I wish for when I treat my female patients is that I really had more time to spend with them than our weekly hour-long sessions for whatever duration they see me. I want to be able to teach them how to really dig deep physically, by exploring, moving, and learning how to hold their bodies in a way that will open them up to experiencing more vibrancy. I want to share with them visualization techniques to feel more soulful, and more authentic. I want them to know how to take care of themselves, how to strengthen the right areas, how to breathe easier, and get their sexy on! What I also want is for them to have a support system, to give them a tribe of like-minded women who want to take back their lives and feel more feminine, more alive, and more empowered. What I want most of all is for this information and discovery session to be fun and engaging. I am on a mission to let women know that there is a certain power we hold in our pelvis as women and it’s time to harness that. It is my intention to share my knowledge of the pelvis, anatomy, posture, self-care, strengthening, movement, dance, and yoga and facilitate an emotional awakening of our bodies, minds and souls through sharing with one another.
I believe that when it comes to healing, it takes a village.
If you are in the Boulder/Longmont area and want to join us for a reboot of feminine energy, we’d love to have you join our tribe. Our FeminEnergy® offerings are beneficial for women who have had any kind of pelvic surgery, trauma, cysts, endometriosis, fibroids, prolapse, bladder dysfunction, sexual dysfunction, postpartum pain, sacroiliac or hip pain to name a few.
**It’s also beneficial if you just want to feel a little more alive in your pelvis, connect with other women and have fun while you learn more about health, posture, or strength.
Invite your girlfriends!